Shock.

Okay, so, I think it's finally time to write about it: culture shock. I got a burst of inspiration this morning and decided to start talking about it. I've been feeling this shock a lot lately but, well, on one hand broadcasting my feelings over the internet isn't how I usually choose to resolve things. On the other hand, if I had moved to Finland, transitioned into the culture, and learned Finnish within a month, there wouldn't be much point to this blog. Or at least, you'd suddenly find yourself reading about someone you hardly knew anymore. So in the spirit of being a writer, I'm going to try and explain why this topic is such a sensitive one.

When most people think of adjusting somewhere 'exotic' or different, they think of extremes like Japan or Thailand or... I don't know, that's what I think about anyway. I think of the movie "Lost in Translation." [We watched it the other night but since I am my mother's daughter, I slept through most of it.] Now imagine if Bill Murray or Scarlett Johannson hadn't found each other. Then that movie would've been a pretty sad tale. They both would've wandered around Tokyo zombie-like and completely dazed, feeling like an outsider and finding no one to share their story with.

Now I'll let you in on a secret, Finland is not Japan. And after a short time, I can actually read and understand signs. Keskusta is downtown/city center... and other signs indicate the names of different Tampere neighbourhoods. So rule out feeling like lost in translation because we share an alphabet with the Finns and on the most part, similar daily-interactions [with the exception of some funny things I've mentioned now and then.] So all in all, the only real surprise was that I had to change my people-watching manners and stop staring and people on the street. Being looked at straight in the eye makes most Finns uncomfortable. It's not like in Canada or in the States where your eyes meet and you smile to avoid the awkwardness. Here, you look away and pretend that moment didn't exist. It sounds logical at first but it can be quite awkward when you find yourself smiling at strangers and they think you're crazy...

Another aspect of culture shock is the issue of belonging. When you move to a new country, and you don't yet speak the language, you have to adapt and find yourself within a new context. This didn't seem as daunting 1 month ago, but I guess for that, I have the GMAT to thank. But as time has passed and I've met more people here, I find it pretty hard to feel like I fit in. This isn't me being emo; it's me being honest. Now don't get me wrong, I have no regrets about coming here and, like I said, a seamless transition would've been boring for you guys, but it's just a part of the process. In addition to my growing frustration with the poor level of Finnish language education I've encountered so far, is the lack of accessibility to high-quality education. I've heard rumours about good schools, they but don't return my calls! I've come across countless language schools in my area but they involve scrolling through 20 pages of information, in Finnish, about beginner courses. So as of late, I've taken matters into my own hands and decided that independent studying at home, is the way to go until I find someplace to study. I still stand by my own method, but it's not quite the same as a class environment and I'm sort of making my own lesson plans. But I'm not planning any breaks for the weekend. I want to go through the entire "From Start to Finnish" book by the end of March and then move on to an intermediate book. I know I'm capable of doing this, I just need a little push from time to time.

Now I'll let you in on another little secret. I've purposely chosen today to write this very analytical and confident-sounding post because I'm feeling particularly good about the day's events [/crap-ton of things on my to-do list]. But I also have to admit that not every day is like this. And not every day is either good or bad, it's all about moments. Good moments, bad ones, and being aware enough of what could trigger the bad ones in order to control my reactions. This has been really difficult lately.

So all in all, the two main things that are setting me back right now are: language and diet. I've hardly bothered to mention the diet because few people can fully relate but I guess I can devote an extra few sentences to it: picture yourself unable to eat anything and everyone else eating whatever they want. Now put yourself in a foreign country and try to bridge the gap...
As for language, the overall issue and dealing with the sense of belonging is harder for me than for me people. Romanians from Romania recognize my slight English accent and immediately refer to me as Canadian or point out the fact that I don't really belong in Romania. Canadians tend to preserve a sense of pride for their homeland and for this reason, I've always described myself as both Romanian and Canadian [let's not even dwell on the idiocies of being considered Francophone or Anglophone in Quebec]. In Germany, none of the exchange students felt German, but we belonged to a separate community within the university that had its own sense of belonging. And now, well... you tell me.

There is no place else to go but forward!