Saksassa.

There's always something disconcerting about flying with a discount airline. This is probably due to the fact that I grew up flying transatlantic, most often, and I'm used to the treatment offered by what I would call a "real" airline. What does this mean? Well... you check in at a regular airport, with lots of armed security guards and serious security measures. The airport is huge and you get a sense that you can connect to anywhere from that one place. You check your baggage, as per usual, at no extra fee and are allowed to carry 1 or 2 suitcases weighing 23kg each. You are obviously fed on the plane and your flight lasts over 6 hours. This is how most frequent-flyer North Americans travel. Now even though we complain about airline prices, we still yearn for a discount airline to fly us across the ocean or to the other side of the continent for $20. That would just be heavenly. But what we don't consider, are the perks we have to give up for the small price you pay.

Having recently moved (back) to Europe (again), I still haven't quite rapped my head around these short-haul flights. Especially not with an airline like Ryanair. As some of you may know, I took a little trip to Germany this weekend (I'm writing this from Dusseldorf right now) and I flew here with Ryanair...thus the disconcerting remarks.

I get to the tiny Tampere airport to check in and see a long like before me. There are no electronic signs flashing which line you should be standing in because it's very obvious: there is only one plane leaving the terminal and everyone in the airport will be on that plane. Check in is very unofficial. Instead of showing your passport so they can find you in the system, you show them a piece of paper you have to have printed ahead of time, otherwise you face a 40e fine for your lack of preparation. The woman checks my paperwork and I'm free to head towards security... does she even have a computer back there? I can swear it's just a keyboard without a monitor so it sounds like she did something. How does the system even work? IS there a system or would that set the airline back a couple thousand euros too far?

I "head" towards security, which is basically a continuation of the same line. The employees there seem to be more concerned about baggage restrictions rather than checking for bombs or forbidden items. The man standing in front of me was traveling with his wive and baby, who had stepped out of line to go PURCHASE a zip-lock bag for the affordable price of 3e (I knew to bring my own.). The security woman instantly attacked him "Sir. Yes, you. You have TWO bags. You are only permitted ONE bag." He looked at her... (confused as to why she was speaking English when he spoke Finnish, although of visible minority she assumed him to be English-speaking) and answered in Finnish that he's with his family. She eventually laid off him but I was asked to step in front of him to pass through security. I went through peacefully since none of my possessions seemed to arouse any suspicions.

The waiting area is a mess... there is one place to wait, but the room morphs into two sections and the seating area is movable, since it consists of chairs instead of seats that are screwed into the ground. This doesn't seem like a big deal, and it really isn't if you think about it, but the airport just gives you a sense of ... cheap... and cheap usually comes with some sort of assumptions on quality... and a cheap plane is the last thing you want. Anyway, I fought my way to get a decent seat and ended up with a window seat, my preferred option. Thank God for Juha and his noise-canceling headphones. I had charged and re-synced my iPod for the first time in 4 months before getting on the plane and realized that it had only loaded songs by artists A and B... so every artist starting with C to Z didn't make it. Nevertheless, I enjoyed Badly Drawn Boy for the entire flight and managed to drown out the loud talking and plane engine noise.

Now there's a weird phenomenon that takes place on these discount flights... somehow, people act less civilized because they pay less for their ticket. I'm not sure what it is but the air stewardess with a thick slavic accent had to ask us to quiet down and listen to the security video two times... repeating that "It's important and for your own safety!" Poor woman, we didn't really quiet down but the tape was played anyway. Then throughout the flight, you're constantly harassed by advertisements for smokeless cigarettes and deliciously-smelling pizza (nothing is free).

So here's the disconcerting part. As we began our decent, or what I supposed was the decent since no one said I couldn't wear my noise-canceling headphones and thus, I drowned out all the announcements, the turbulence started. It was a really cloudy and rainy day and we were jolted quite a bit. It wasn't too bad but enough to make you think, even if very briefly, that you hope nothing goes wrong. At one point, a girl even screamed, although I found that to be rather unnecessary. As we neared the ground, I noticed something seemed to be coming out of the wing... it looked like a stream of something... smoke, water, cloud...? I couldn't tell but was a little afraid. Still, I thought it must be normal since it seemed strangely familiar to me. (I later realized it was water because it was raining but not directly on the plane... just that the water was coming off the wing in a steady, small stream across the sky alongside us.) I busied myself by staring out the window the whole time and drowning out my surroundings. It was surprisingly helpful to picture myself on any other flight: Lufthansa, Air Canada... etc. Anything other than Ryanair, even if that seemed a little difficult since Ryanair is proudly scrawled into the plane's wing.

Now I've been on a hell of a lot of planes in my life, and I'm no pilot. I don't think I'd have the nerve to ever get in the pilot's seat for a lesson, or even do it professionally but I do have a keen sense of when the plane should take off the run-way and approximately what a smooth landing is going to look like. Nearing the ground and descending much faster than most landings I'd experienced before, I realized we were coming down pretty hard. Instead of a smooth landing, the pilot somehow slammed us down on the strip and people gasped a little. Nothing drastic, just that the whole discount image didn't make me feel as safe as usual. A few seconds later, that moronic trumpet goes off and everyone laughs. (There's a trumpet that welcomes you to whatever city and congratulated you on being on one of the 90% of Ryanair flights that arrive on time...because they inflate exaggerate their ETA to boost their ratings. No large feat.)

Now I may be sounding pretty bitter at this point but I really don't mean to. The flight was fine, I got from point A to point B without any problems and I paid much less than I would've on another airline (mostly because I knew the ins and outs... otherwise my ticket would've been an extra 40e if not printed, plastic bags are 3e and you need one, luggage is 10-15e/kg if not purchased ahead of time...etc). Still, being North American by pure habit, I can't deny that these trips don't make me a bit uneasy. Sure, we whine about high prices but for those prices, you get your perks too. No pesky announcements and NO trumpets. (That trumpet gets on my nerves every time... and what's worse is EVERYONE laughs. That will only encourage the trumpet further.)

But point being, when you fly with one of these airlines, people seem to consider their lives, hanging in the balance, much less seriously, while security and aircraft quality remain much the same. From a rough landing to laughing at a silly trumpet, it's purely a matter of perception and what each of us are used to. Still, I look forward to my transatlantic flight in late May with included meals, minimal announcements and my very own TV screen.