Written Sunday night, posted now.

I’ve been feeling a little funny lately. As you all know, I’d spent the last couple months looking for a job, before finally giving up and just accepting that I’d have to do my Master’s and keep improving my Finnish before a job would fall into my lap. Of course, three weeks into the new school semester and exactly what I’d spent months hoping for and eventually giving up on falls on my lap. Isn’t it ironic? [pop cultural references from 1995.]

I’m on the train now, doing my weekly trip to Helsinki for two days before returning to Tampere for the rest of the week to work and be at home. I didn’t have any books with me on the way to Tampere so today I picked up my copy of Supercoach, by Michael Neill, a book which my mom gave me when I came to Finland. I’m still reading it, but taking months to process the chapters. Today, I blew through 50 pages of it like nobody’s business and of course, that got me thinking.

Today, I was feeling all adventurous so I went to see Eat Pray Love. I didn’t initially intend on seeing this movie but since Juha brought it up last night, I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer. So while he was at work today, I went to the movies for a little treat. And I’m so happy I went because I really enjoyed the movie. I remember connecting with the book but maybe because the movie was more condensed and occurred over a shorter period of time, the messages were much clearer:

 Find yourself,
 Forgive whatever part of yourself is haunting you,
 Be yourself,
 Leave your comfort zone if you need in order to do all that
and finally
 Be happy!

For the first time since, well for the first time ever, I feel this strange sense of freedom. Which is ironic, because the reason I feel this way is because I have a job and I have school and I have a life. Let me try to explain that differently…

Life: I’ve been in Finland for just over 9 months now and I feel that I’ve met some really great people, all of whom have helped me feel at home here.

School: Well that’s pretty self-explanatory.

Job: Ditto.

But in addition to just having a job, I have something I’ve never had before: a sense of finally getting something I’d been pretty much thinking was impossible. Now I know I sound really dramatic here, but after being told your entire childhood that you’re going to graduate and go on to do great things, you kind of start to despair when none of the resumes you sent out are getting any responses. Mind you, my contract is up at the end of January so this feeling might be fleeting but for now, the workplace is a new place for me! Also, exams are coming up and for the first time ever, I’m not too concerned. I’ve been doing some very light, seriously, only when the mood strikes and work has kept me busy during the week so I can’t say I feel guilty about not studying 24/7 either.
I’ve also started thinking about my next adventure… and it looks like it’s going to be Canada: December 21st to January 2nd. I should make a list of all the other places I’d like to travel to… South America, Southeast Asia, Japan, Egypt, Italy, Lapland… the last of which is most realistic right now ;)

So for now, I’m just enjoying the pieces of the puzzle which have fallen into place.

In the short term, I want to take up a dance class. I have my 10-class card for this studio in Helsinki and I’m set on going to check it out tomorrow after school. Now that I’ve put that out in the universe, I’ll have to go. Physical activity, apart from walking everywhere, is seriously lacking in my life right now.